i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
