At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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