Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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