he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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