Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
