There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Apparently you make a good broom.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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