He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
