if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we're making bets on your personal life
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
