I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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