My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I believe in your delicious
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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