when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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