shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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