i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i think my cat just said my name.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
