Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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