FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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