don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
