its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
