I heard we made out
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
