Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
