I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You were trust falling into bushes
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
