I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
