Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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