ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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