i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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