Pants 0. Shit 1.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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