i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That was an excessively violent trivia night
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
