Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
