The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
