You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i already hear my dad disowning me
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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