Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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