batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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