You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
