I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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