The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
