I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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