I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just found puke in my bra..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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