R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
