i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
