Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
