i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
