i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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