I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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