i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My penis needs a shock collar
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
