I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
