it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
