Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
