Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
