You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
