I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
