So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
