I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
