apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
