She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
