come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
