I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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